Part 4: Uncle Theo appears

When last we left, I was being poked with a stick by a horrid little urchin:
http://phineasmatova.blogspot.com/2009/11/it-continuespart-3.html

I stared up...up...the long coat, the thick, cigar clutching fingers, the bristly beard that seemed to radiate displeasure and into the cold, gimlet eyes of ...my Uncle Theo.

I coughed and blinked.  "Uncle Theo?" I said just to be on the safe side.  It could have very well been an hallucination from the plants I was forced to subsist on while I was hiding from the police.

 "Yes, you ass.  I am your Uncle Theodore, now get up or I'll let Simon have at you again."

 "Simon?"

He affectionately patted the mangy head of the stick wielding urchin who beamed up at him.  "Yes Simon, I'm sad to say this wretch is your cousin."  This unleashed another assault from the little devil who now began to thrash me with his stick.

"Get up, Daddy says you haf to"

"Yes, I will ..just stop ...bloody hell!! That hurts!"

"Don't swear in front of the moppet!"

Grumbling darkly, I managed to stand and dust myself off under the combined glares of Uncle Theo and his progeny.

"So Phineas, I believe the question is, how on earth did you get here?"

Another poem

"Tree"

Oh mighty tree
You are not a member of the bourgeoisie
Though you appear to be
inhabited by a bee
but thankfully not a banshee
I like afternoon tea.

Happy new year!!

Yes, I realize that it is a few days into the new year.  I've been busy!!!  Visiting pubs! *hic*

And I started a new poem.

"Barrel"

Brown and stout
There you sit
Not full of trout
Or mince pie.


Still working on the ending.  I shall continue my narrative of my New York adventure, but the details are rather fuzzy at the moment.  I think there were pickles...

An Important Announcement

Yes I, Phineas Matova, Man About Town, Poet at Large and General Bon Vivant now shall deliver my thoughts to you in 140 character increments.

http://twitter.com/phineasmatova

It continues...(part 3)

I awoke with a start. A grubby, shock headed youngster of about four or five was standing nearby, armed with a stick . The ankle biter was poking me in the side with the infernal thing.


"Are you dead mister?"


"I am most certainly not. Stop poking at me"



"Are you sick?"


"No."


"Are you sleeping?"


"I was, until you decided to -OW, I said stop that immediately! I am getting very cross!"



"Are you a hobo?"




"I most certainly am not a hobo. I am Phineas Matova, Man About Town, Poet at Large and apparently a refugee, through no fault of my own, in your fair city."



The brat blinked a couple of times.




"What's a poet at large, mister?"



I sighed heavily and rolled over onto my side.



"You're too young to understand, urchin. Let me sleep"



I closed my eyes with the full intention of meeting Morpheus, but again felt an unwanted object being thrust into my side.

"What is it now, urchin?" I blearily opened my eyes and was met with the rather disapproving gaze of a policeman.

to be continued..

In which I am a fugitive. (again)

Seeing the constables advancing and picturing myself in a tiny cramped Manhattan jail, I took the liberty of the ensuing confusion to flee. After pushing past several grandmothers who shrieked and beat at me with their fists, I managed to lose myself in the crowd.

Having put what I thought was a reasonable distance between myself and the police, I staggered into a dark alleyway, that smelt strongly of cabbage and boiled socks. I leaned against a wall, breathing heavily. (Despite my many attributes, athletics are not my strong point)

I heaved a heavy sigh and reached into my jacket pocket for my flask, which was dangerously close to empty. I swigged as much as I could and then carefully placed my trusty old friend back into my jacket, then managed to dodge a bucket of water that was tossed from one of the windows.

"Excuse me, I happen to be thinking down here, could you cease that activity?" This was met with another waterfall and what sounded like cursing in an unfamilar language. Well, indeed. I huffily left the alleyway in search of a better place for Phineas Matova, Man About Town to contemplate his current circumstances.

After walking for what seemed like hours, I happened upon a large and pleasant park. I was growing weary and there was a rather large, leafy shrub nearby. After checking for hobos, I crawled under it and settled in for a good, long nap.

In which I am kidnapped

Yes, Phineas Matova, Man About Town and Poet at Large has returned to Caledon! I know you missed me as much as I missed you, but I was off having adventures.

It all began when one evening in late Spring, I discovered we were out of whiskey. Actually my dear cousin had forgotten to store any in her cellar. She should really get a lock for that cellar. Anyone could just wander in and take up refuge as I did after Auntie threw me out again.

I digress.

I decided to take a stroll, hoping to find a pub nearby. After some wandering, I found one. After spending a enjoyable evening with a bottle of whiskey or..three...I decided to head for home...although at that point I wasn't sure where home was...I found myself walking near Port Caledon, when I had the misfortune to fall asleep in a crate sitting on one of the docks.

It looked quite cosy and comfortable...how was I to know it was to be placed on a boat headed for the blasted United States? I was sleeping. Generally a time when I would assume, one is to be left undisturbed, not packed into a crate, loaded onto a ship, having to ...break out of said crate, be accused of being a stowaway, (I was kidnapped!!) subjected to seasickness, bad food, be made to swab the deck and then be "accidentally" flung overboard by crew members? Luckily we weren't ....that far from shore and besides being a poet, man about town and general bon vivant, I am also an excellent swimmer.

So swim I did....until I reached the shore. Apparently I was in Manhattan, which is what I was told by the police...apparently not that many gentlemen swim in the East River and my arrival caused a great commotion, particularly among the ladies...many of whom fainted.

To be continued...