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Wednesday, July 16

Status...

I know that you all have been terribly concerned about the whereabouts of Phineas Matova, man about town. Please let me put your fears to rest, dear folk of Caledon.

I have been accused of arson. I was camped out in the Tanglewood forest, living on nuts and berries. I was attacked and nearly consumed by Vorpal bunnies. (who on earth is keeping Vorpal bunnies?? *shudders*) A tiny poked me with a sharp stick. Then another tiny poked me with a sharp stick. I fell out of trees. Several times. I was very itchy.

But now,, dear people of Caledon, I am safe in the custody of my Aunt Juniper, living in a room at her boarding house not too far away...really, just a short train ride outside of Caledon. Not even an hour, from what I recall...admittedly I wasn't in the best frame of mind when I took it, being a bit dazed. But thirty to forty minutes at the outside. And the scenery is very pleasant. I assume anyway.

My Aunt has not allowed me to leave the premises yet. Believe me, I have tried, but then a rather surly gentleman that she has as a border ...talks me into returning to my little room. I would never have figured that such a large and imposing figure would be interested in summoning spirits and table rapping, rather than the more violent pursuits that he seems to be ideally suited for, but that seems to be the case.

Oh yes, my Aunt primarly rents out rooms to others who are spiritualists or those who wish to be. It does grow rather tiresome at times, with the household full of knocking noises, or peculiar disembodied voices.

Occasionally I have been frightened out of my wits by one apparation in particular that suddenly appears in my room and hovers there until my Aunt comes in and sends it..her...*shudders* away. Apparently this is her spirit guide Flossie, who has taken a dislike to me and enjoys tormenting me.

Another form tends to hover around me, but I realized quickly that this was not a ghost, but another one of the boarders. A Miss Antwerp? I am uncertain, but she seems to favor the color beige. She is the only boarder who seems to want to visit me.


Did I mention the boarding house is only a thirty minute train ride outside of Caledon?




Saturday, July 12

Nightmare?

Wha--what happened? I had a strange and terrible dream about being in a tree...and then being carted off by flying bunnies....and then I fell and fell and fell....and was back in the tree again. And now I'm itchy. And seem to have misplaced my trousers again.

*passes out*

Monday, July 7

A package...

When last we left, Phineas Matova, man about town was in hiding as he was accused of burning his cousin Violet's house to the ground....even though the unicorn was responsible...
I realize that unicorns are generally not known as arsonists, but I swear, by the coarse hair on my Auntie Juniper's head that this one is!

Dirty, disheveled and rather peckish...I had taken to searching for from scraps from a rubbish bin, hiding out in the Tanglewood forest, wearing an outfit rather cunningly fashioned out of twigs and leaves as I seem to have misplaced my trousers..thankfully the nights have been warm and no one seemed to have discovered my hideout.

Or so I thought..

I had spent a fitful night tossing and turning...laugh if you may, but I am quite used to sleeping alfresco as I frequently forgot where the spare key was when I would return to my cousin's house from one of my many nights of carousing.

Wben I awoke, I noticed a nearby bundle with a note attached.

Dear hapless vagabond,

I have noticed you out here for several days...I know you must be growing cold and hungry, so please accept my meager gift of a blanket and food..

Sincerely,

Not an employee of the Caledon Sanitorium.




Surely an employee of the sanitorium ....I know they have ways of luring you into a false sense of security and then they pounce! Pah!








Friday, July 4

Exile ...

Still in hiding....it seems for ...days now.... in the forest..I've made a lovely shelter of twigs and leaves...it doesn't fall on me too much....on occasion a tiny will throw pebbles at me for sport. How far, Phineas Matova, man about town has fallen....


Since my clothes have long since become tattered. I also fashioned a loincloth out of some of the larger leaves and grass...it usually stays on as well, although I believe I rather frightened some young women, out for a stroll, who responding by dissolving into hysterics.

Perhaps it is time for me to turn myself in....I cannot stay out here much longer....the pubs generally do not allow gentlemen in grass skirts, charming as I am...there was an offer of a bed at the Sanitorium....