The fugitive..

I apologize if my last post seemed a bit incoherent....it was due to a combination of shock and smoke inhalation....

It is day three of my forced...forced exile from Regency. *sobs* Why will no one believe that I did not set fire to the house? It was the unicorn, I tell you!! Did no one see that maniacal glint in Eleanor's the unicorn's eye??

I sleep during the day and forage for crumbs of food and a stiff shot of whiskey in the evenings. I bathe in forest streams...*is startled by a tiny and hides behind a tree*

What was I saying? ...

j'accuse la licorne...

Again I find myself accused of pyromania....by my own family... (hic) Violet is claiming that I set fire to her house in Regency.....Admittedly she's not the first family member to do so. I'm currently hiding out behind an unamed pub in an undisclosed location in an unknown sim. It's got trees and houses and such. (hic)





*tosses empty bottle away* I was previously turned out on my ear after a wing at my Aunt's house burned to the ground, but that was ..oh that was my sister's fault. One of em anyway. From day to day it seems I have anywhere from one to two to seventeen sisters....(hic) They keep moving around...(hic) Not unlike that tree...(hic) Oooo...swirlies...



*passes out*



*Coughs and sputters*



Wha-where was I? Ohhh C-chemical experiments and such. Not a suitable occupation for a young lady, I keep saying, but my opinions seem to be falling on deeeaaf earsssss. (hic) I diggresss... I....Phhineasssss Matov-Ma-*mumbles* didddn'tt burrrn my cousssinnnssss houseeees down....yer a niiccee ladeeee....nooooo...doon'ntt runnnn awaayyy.... Mmmmyyyy unnnnicorn es the (hic) pyromaniac, not meeeeee.



*takes another drink and passes out again, snoring loudly*

The Pub Crawl of The Century!!!

Join me, Phineas Matova, Man About Town, as I take you on a tour of my favorite watering holes, pubs, beer gardens, taverns, distilleries and private homes with well stocked bars.

I'm joking about the private homes. Tee hee. Or am I?

Details to follow as soon as I can remember them. (hic)

Mon retour triomphant

Safely returned from my Italian sojurn with Aunty Juniper, I serenade Miss Paris.

She was just about ready to swoon, due to my admittedly delightful singing and piano playing, when Aunty came to hunt me down for supper, at which time, Miss Paris muttered something about her house being on fire. 'Till next time, Dame Lapin. Le sigh...

When last we left, Phineas Matova, Man About Town had found himself the unwitting escort of his dowager Aunt Juniper on a long and dreary trip through the Mediterranean. Of course, I was able to spend time at the Grecian seaside and enjoy the fruits of several Italian vineyards, but it was still all rather...dismal.

I spent most of my evenings, not down at the local drinking establishments, as I would have wished, but in the audience, dozing off during my Aunt's inumberable seances and table tippings. (My Aunt is a spiritualist medium)

I must say this trip has left me rather well rested, if anything. If I was not being put to sleep by knocks from the beyond, I was falling into my soup during long, tedious suppers with her and her gaggle of hens from the local spiritualist groups. If I never have to hear of spirits and ectoplasm again, it shall be too soon

Help!!

To whomever out there who may be reading this...please help...I have been kidnapped by my Aunt Juniper and forced to escort on her on her travels...*sniff*

Let me backtrack slightly, you may recall that my aunt had arrived for a visit lo these many moons ago...I made a feeble attempt at escape...whilst Violet was greeting the old battleaxe and had requested I sally forth to fetch a cab, I made a dash for freedom.

I spent an afternoon and evening hiding in one of the local pubs, then a remaining night hiding in a shrubbery, until I was rousted by a very angry gentleman and his even more angry wife. Well, I certainly know when I'm not welcome. The sun was gently creeping into the sky, the cocks were crowing...and I was growing peckish and by the scent of things....badly needed a scrub.

I sighed and looked around me. The nearest hotel was miles away and I was growing rather low on funds. My cousin's home was only a few minutes walk away and perhaps no one would be awake at this ungodly hour. I tiptoed in as quietly as I could..no one was about. Exhaling softly, I began to set about making tea...when I began to feel that I was not alone. As if two beady eyes were boring into my very soul.

I swallowed. "Hello?"

"Harumph. Running off and leaving an old woman at the train station. Ass."

I fear I would be remiss in not saying that I broke out in an icy sweat. As she circled me like a wolf circling something it wanted to eat for dinner...she fixed me with her eagle like stare...and wrinkled her nose.

"You smell like a distillery..pfft..." I shivered as she placed a shriveled, bony claw on my arm.

"What? no kisses for your auntie??!" she cackled huskily...sending even more shivers down my spine and making me feel quite faint. I staggered over to a nearby chair and sat weakly in it. Aunt Juniper shuffled over to the stove and began banging about..."hmmpf...you need lots of strong coffee...you look like you've been dragged behind a carriage..." this seemed to cause her some sort of fit that I deduced was laughter.

To be continued...

I blinked furiously as the sun seemed to be searing into my retinas and hurriedly shuffled off after Violet as she began heading towards the train station, feeling as if I were marching off to meet, well perhaps not the firing squad but perhaps to an appointment with a large burly man wielding a cat o'nine tails. Although it is not my cup of tea, there would be some folk who would pay for that sort of appointment, as I, Phineas Matova, Man About Town, have discovered in my wanderings....I digress.

A chill wind seemed to blow from the northeast as I staggered after my cousin, clutching my coat around me and shivering. Thinking that I could perhaps stall our progress to the train station, I racked my brain for a quick diversion that would seem believable. The only thing that I could come up with on the spot was feigning a fainting spell.

"V-Violet..I don't feel so well" I took a few halting steps backwards ( I am a trained mime) and clutching at my forehead, fell to my knees (being careful also to not muss my trousers or hair)
and let out a heartwrenching (I thought at least) moan.

My cousin turned and looked at me, with the sort of look one would reserve for say an unpleasant bug, rather than a cousin in grave distress. She sighed a bit and said

"Phineas, quit arsing about. You're making us late for Auntie Junipers train and believe me, I do not want to hear her complain for the next fortnight about how we abandoned an old woman"

"Alright, fine. But I might have been fainting!"

"Come along Phineas!"

I stood up, carefully brushing my trousers off and trudged off after her.

to be continued